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Yay  did day 2 of 30 Day Shred and then 40 minutes of walking on my treadmill. I did a little jog here and there and Mindless Self Indulgence really kept me going. It has been quite a number of years I have listened to them, they sure do pump me up on the boring treadmill. I was going to go outside to walk but it started raining as I walked out. So instead of just saying I am not going to do anything else I pushed myself to dust off that boring machine. I am very glad I did, it was quite a good time :D 

I plan on just posting every time I exercise. lol No one looks at this really anyway, I am doing this for my own accountability. Now I am just relaxing with the some St. Vincent, can’t wait to see her Monday! Her live shows look amazing. I haven’t been to a show since late August, so I am excited. Yay for a lovely Saturday evening :) 

Onward!

I feel like I am always starting from square one. I am so mad at myself for gaining part of the weight I had lost the last couple years. I need to cement into my head if I eat shitty and don’t exercise that I am going to screw myself up. I don’t even forget that it I just let myself spiral out of control when I am having really bad bouts with my depression. I forget how good it feels when I eat better and exercise. I forget how much confidence I gained when I lost weight. This year really sucked the life out of me. I left my job for another thinking I would do better, little did I know that I’d feel even worse at the new job. I don’t think it is the jobs really it is me, or at least it is partially me. I think that I ruin things. Now I am here looking for another job AGAIN, well for the last couple months. Hope something will happen soon.

I am going to try and be positive again. I just started day one of 30 Day Shred. I think it will push me back into my exercise again, I am eating healthier, noting everything in myfitnesspal for the last 2 months. I even try and put the crap food I eat, just to make myself aware. I just am trying to get the exercise thing regular again. When I started this in 2012 I started with the 30 Day Shred and that really worked. From there I tried other exercises, I was really enjoying running and weights. I will get there again and this time I will not stop. This is something I have to keep up with for the rest of my life. I don’t have the luxury of ever just saying I will eat whatever. Right now my goal is to lose at least 30 pounds by the end of December. I think it can be done and even if I don’t lose the pounds I hope to lose the inches. I want to look a bit thinner for pictures that will be taken for my nephew’s baptism, my brother asked me to be the godmother to my oncoming nephew Luca. I am really not into religion at all, but I love my family so I kind of wanted to do it. So onward to my goals! 

"Most people think happiness is about gaining something, but it’s not. It’s all about getting rid of the darkness you accumulate."

Carolyn Crane

(Source: psych-facts)

"So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow."

Attachments, Rainbow Rowell (via psych-facts)