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Well I just just had a realization while cleaning. I don’t want to give up on this place. I am to old to give up my independence. I just need to push extra hard to find a job. I need to apply to each and very job out there. I can’t give up anymore. I am back on track with my healthy regime again:) I need to make sure I don’t give up on this. I can’t!!
I just want to go back in time today. Back 14 years ago when I first started art school. I want to go back and fix the mistakes I made and finish school. I was an idiot back then. I let myself sabotage myself. I still do this in my life now, I think. I could have been so much better. I can’t blame anyone but myself for all mistakes. I can’t go back and change anything. I just have to do what I can to make my present day life worth living. I need to stop looking back on all the mistakes I made as something negative, but as something to learn from and not do again. I was so young I just wish I could have finished what I had started. I know it is never to old to do some things, my Dad went back to school again when he was 38 and he made a second career for himself. I can be done, I just have to push myself and stop procrastinating.